Christine Lukasik

Why does college music make such a strong impression on us?

Oh my but I'm in a pleasant nostalgia fueled haze this afternoon listing to my (just arrived) actual CD (replacing my 12year old audio tape) of pretty much my favorite college musician, Tom Acousti. He used to play the music lounge at my college, and may be responsible for my unwavering devotion to simple elegant storytelling singer-songwriters with a single instrument (Elton, Tim, Angie (pre-Angie and the Infidels and especially Angie covering Rocket Man! as this reviewer said, it's like Elton and Bernie wrote it just for Angie to sing. But I digress. often.

Tom's an amazing songwriter and has all kinds of odd bits and twists in his life - after all, he broke the record for "number of wins with original music" in the Male Vocalist category on Star Search ('94) and was the first contestant ever to present a song using only an acoustic guitar ! He also created the role of Nick Piazza in the pre-Broadway stage production of "Fame, the Musical,". Cool, huh? Oh, and he wrote "Still Stand" for his wife after she underwent hip reconstruction surgery at 28 years old.

More still?

Tom got a call years after releasing "Still Stand" from Debbie Hobson, whose husband Ken, a U.S. Army Sergeant, had been killed a few days earlier in the August 7, 1998 bombing of the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya. Though Tom didn't know Debbie or Ken, Debbie had explained how some of Tom's music played a special role in their relationship, and that "Still Stand" (from Tom’s 'Only' release) was "their song." She asked Tom to play the song at Ken's memorial service. He agreed and became so inspired by a phrase that Debbie used to describe how her husband had lived his life "Bloom where you're planted" that he developed it into a song - a gift for Debbie & her *gulp* now-fatherless daughter, Megan. The song grew into an album - and Tom developed a program in which he donates all potential profits from the sale of the CD to a 'Pay if Forward' style "Buy one give two free" program to honor the memory of the late, Kenneth R. Hobson II.

For every copy of 'Bloom' purchased, two are given away to families who have suffered the loss of a parent. The delivery of these gifts is currently facilitated by Comfort Zone Camps, the nation's largest bereavement camp for children who have experienced the loss of a parent, sibling or primary caregiver.

Wow.

The chorus of Set you Free

If I could have what I wanted you'd want me

And if I could give you anything I'd let you go

I'd just let go and set you free

I am thankful today for the internet and for Tom telling his story and selling the old CD on his website. I'll have to hunt around for a digital copy of an old album from my other college favorites, the Al Mothersbaugh (cousin to Devo dude Mark) fueled Twist Offs.

C-O-W-B-O-Y Y Y Y Y Love Cowboy.

You had to be there. No kidding, eh?

hole hiding...

Anyone know where there's a hole I can go crawl into to hide for, say the next week or so? I feel surrounded by foo-ness right now. Items falling into the un-happy foo-ness category include - the impending anniversary of my father's death (Friday the 13th), brought painfully and forcefully straight to top of mind every time the freaking' Blue Angels blast up and down the lake practicing for thier SeaFair performance. Why? Because my parents visited me in Seattle just before my father passed away, and given that my father used to work for GE testing aircraft engines - he LOVED airplanes. Some of the last time I spent with him alive was spent craning our necks in downtown Seattle or running around the corner to try to catch a glimpse of the planes as they flew by. So it's all about me being selfish and missing the hell out of him that I curse those planes each and everytime I hear/see them. (Different from Dawn's reasons - but come to think of it, yea, that too!)

Also on the Foo-ness list? What-EVER in the hell is going on over here with Mark @!$!@#$!@%$#^ ??Death Threats??@$%@@#$% , the deeply private and personal pain that a dear friend is experiencing, icky organizational foo-ness at my work, house sprinkler system drama (I'll document this later but suffice to say we know lots about how to diagnose and fix a sprinkler system now), and various other stresses that even wearing my suuuuper cool Rope a Dope Ghandi T-Shirt couldn't fend off.

FOO-ness be Gone! You are not welcome here. There will be only peace, rest and love for all.

Got it?

Sheesh.

Bank employees vacation?

This in the "huh?" category....
Yesterday I was chatting with my massage therapist while she was kindly jackhammering at the knots in my shoulder muscles - I mean this in a good way. They were huge and I felt terrible since she was having to work so hard to loosen them up. She and her boyfriend had just returned from a vacation trip to Whistler (easily one of the most stunningly beautiful places in the world), and since he works at a bank, she said that he had to sign up for his vacation a year in advance and that he's required to take 5 days off consecutively if he takes time off. Huh? She said if he requests vacation time, he has to take 5 days for some reson related to bank fraud or money laundering or something.
Have you ever heard of this? What's the reason? Just curious.

Nothing in particular

Sooo, Diet Coke with Lime. We tried some today....and it's pretty good - much better than the first version of Diet Coke with Lemon, which tasted like dishwashing liquid.

On the house for sale front, we had a margianlly successful open house this past Sunday, have had a few showings each day, but nothing more than that so far. The only thing of note has been the astounding degree of difficulty we've had finding a Starbucks in town that isn't packed full each and every time we have to leave for house showings! We tried 3 today - each had no tables available (WHAT?!? Does no one work? Ok, it is a holiday, but still.....this isn't the first day we've had this difficulty. It's really becoming the "office" for many people who don't acutally have an office! I guess that helps to explain the 18 times a month stat, eh?) - before we wound up driving to the T Mobile store to ask where else in town they have Hot Spots. They directed us to our nearest neighborhood Borders, where we snagged the last available table and realized that apparently today's bookstores are yesterday's librarys....or is it the other way around? Anyway, it was so interesting...pretty much every table had someone at it with a big stack of books and magazines from the store that they didn't buy (evidenced by the fact that most all of them left the giant stack of books on the table when they got up to leave) doing research, tracing images onto tracing paper (I can't make this stuff up) - clearly conducting research. Are bookstores cool with this non-revenue business model? Are they counting on the food and bev sales that result, are they betting that if people come to research there that they will also buy at some point, or are they making enough $$ from T Mobile in exchange for providing the Hot Spot service?
And back on the Starbucks note, what about all these folks who use it as their office/conference room/waiting-room-between-meetings ? Will the rise of the home worker also bring a rise in memberships of private business clubs or other places where people can go to get out of the house but still be connected and conduct their business? and where will we for the 4-5 hours at a time (yes, we tried movies - all the kids were off school today, and it was about 39 degrees here in Atlanta.. you think we could get within 20 yards of a movie theatre?) while people tromp though our home deciding whether or not to buy it? Guess we've gotta spend some time looking for free WiFi spots in town, or convince Starbucks to start takinig reservations.

if a coincidence falls in the woods...

Ok, so the other night I read this article in Utne, in which the author sets out that we have been taught to distrust coincidence - to dismiss, as he says, the marvelous (mmm, I love that thought. we should never dismiss the marvelous), and to know that meaning and significance come from the other, "real" world where there are apparent causes and effects (yup, clearly one of those sucky 'grown up' things we're meant to remember). He says that "what no one ever points out is that a coincidence has to be perceived in order to exist", and further, that "this is perhaps the thing that troubles the rationally minded, who tend to believe an event has to be an event whether or not anyone actually witnesses it".

Well, yea! Of course that's what I believe (though I'm not sure that is due to my being rationally mind). I totally think there are missed coincidences all the time! So if I'm walking down the street thinking about a particular person and they are walking down the street just a block away, that's still a coincidence even if we don't know it, isn't it? Just because we don't acutally see each other and declare "what a coincidence"?!? If not, what _is_ it?

decisions

So during this conference, we've occasionally received cute little inspirational trinkets. You know the type, the cards with '5-minute escape' messages like "learn massage" on them, ribbons printed with affirmations, and small metal-pebble-like fiddly bits you can carry in your pocket that are engraved with words like inspire, and so on.

Just a few moments ago, we had 10 minutes to either choose a guided meditation or go outside for a walk around sort of head energy clearing. Since we're at the Cape and right on the beach, I'm sure it's no surprise to you that I beat a direct path for the beach. I was goofing around down at the water's edge and felt the little stone thingie in my pocket. I pulled it out (it says imagine, if you are wondering) and instantly had the urge to toss it into the water, or maybe place it on the beach with the real stones for someone to find (maybe) - next week, 5, or 50 years from now. I wondered whether it even would be found, whether the finder would be inspired by it or whether they would even be able to see the engraving by that time. [It has inspired me....but I tend to find more inspiration in real rocks - ask Scott about the small boulder we hauled up a trail from a Washington riverbed because it was sooo pretty. Actually you don't have to ask him - it's in the living room!] Anyway, as I twiddled the small 'stone' in my hand I thought about how the decision to throw it or place it back in my warm pocket (tiny decision though it is) potentially affects someone's experience at a later time and maybe even place. I thought how many decisions in our lives have that delayed ripple effect, on a variety of scales....having children comes right to mind. While I was still twiddling the 'rock' in my hands, thinking this stuff - I dropped it! The decision was clearly made for me. I stood for some moments staring at the small silvery bit resting on the sand - water lapping over it and hoped that someone would delight in finding it, that it would happen upon it at some pivotal moment in thier life and be surprised, comforted or inspired by it. I began to walk away, back toward the conference - I had already been gone long beyond the allotted time. Began thinking about the ink that was used to fill the engraved word and wondering what the small 'metal rock' was actually made of, how and if it might degrade and what would happen to a seagull or fish that swallowed it, I turned back and plucked it from the sand, returned it to the warm safety of my pocket. Proudly, I thought of the micro environmental disaster I had almost caused

then wondered how many people choose a course based on fear of the damage their actions may result in.

memories

A few weeks ago, Scott and I had a conversation about memories. The initial question was, "If you could, would you selectively erase any memories that you have"? We quickly decided that it likely depends on whether or not you erase the effect that the event you're remembering had on you when you erase the memory of it.

Now I'm not sure it matters if you erase the effect or not. I can't come up with a memory that I would choose to erase either way. Some obvious candidates come to mind (getting the call from my mother that my father had passed away, my reaction to that call - especially since I was at work at the time), but I would not erase them. They're unpleasant, but important to preserve and bear as memories that pain me in amounts equal to the love I had for him.

Scott thought of at least one moment that he would erase: the night that he was helping me move when he went to borrow a friend's ancient VW van and munched the back of a Mercedes while trying to put it in gear!

Any memories you would erase?